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Magickal Musings From Infinite Flame

August 30, 2014
Define "wicked".....

 

Onward and Upward

So now here it is, three years have past. What did I do during that time? Not much. I let people and things distract me from moving ahead. But that’s ok. I needed some time to just enjoy and relax. To try to figure out who I am now, because I can’t be the person I was, I’ve been through too much and have gained more wisdom. Sometimes I think I’m not as nice as I was, I don’t put up with nonsense anymore. I speak more honestly and some people don’t want honesty, they want flattery. I used to tell people I was a “good” witch, but now I’m a “don’t mess with me” witch. I’m nice until you mess with me, then watch out.

I am going through a lot of changes. I had to claim bankruptcy but that is a good thing as I no longer have that debt hanging over me. I injured my back to the point that I went to a chiropractor (those that know me know that I rarely go to a doctor, I heal myself if I can). It makes my day job of housecleaning a challenge. I got rid of two houses and only clean two days a week now. That is a huge drop in income. It forced me to go back to web design, which I love but wasn’t putting much effort into lately. I have been working on my Infinite Flame site and Naked Soaps sites, I am also updating my sister’s site. I had to officially close Enchanted Moon so I can’t do design under that name, but I am still available to do web sites. If you or someone you know need a site, please contact me. You can send them to Enchanted-moon.net for more info about what I can do. Thank you.

I am also concentrating more on Infinite Flame products. I was lucky enough to get an end space at the shows so that helps. I have more space so I can create more products. I can now make more candles and I will announce them here and on Facebook as I make them. I am finally going to make incense (thank you Storm for the supplies, eons ago!). I plan to create soaps with the same scents as some of the candles, but that has to wait for cooler weather. I have some other ideas that I will announce as I do them.

So these changes are good, I think. I am a procrastinator but am working hard to change that, I can’t wait. I need to use my creative talents to support myself as I work through the back issues. I know I will be ok. The Goddess always provides.

My Distraction

So exactly what distracted me? What else, a man. When I did my yearly Samhain/Halloween tarot reading in 2011, just two months after Brian died, the cards told me I would meet someone. I have been doing my Halloween year-ahead readings for over twenty years. I use a book that is very accurate, better to use a book when doing a reading for yourself so you don’t only see what you want to see. My romance card said “An admirer or sweetheart will suddenly appear, and a very passionate love affair or romance is in store”. And another card said “An unexpected caller will arrive and through you don’t think its possible, the two of you are going to be spending some very passionate hours together.” I thought, yeah right. There is no way I am going to want to be with anyone for a long time. But the cards never lie.

Jump ahead to the next spring. The neighbor introduces me to the guy who is painting his house. His blue eyes seem to draw me but I resisted. I must admit, the first couple of times I was around him, I acted like a ….well, it rhymes with witch. But something attracted me. I didn’t want to be attracted, its too soon. But it was meant to be, I asked the Goddess for guidance and got two clear signs that I was supposed to be with him. The third sign was when I remembered my tarot reading. So in August I gave in and had a new man in my life.

He brought music and fun back into my life. Too much fun. I had been planning on getting back to computer work but every night we were hanging out and I was learning to just relax again. He truly was a distraction, because I used him as an escape. When I was with him, I could forget all my troubles. And I let things slide.

Then he hit a gas meter at the bar, when he went up there without me during one of my holiday rituals. So he got caught drinking and driving. Instead of letting me help him through it, he tried to push me away. But then drew me back. I was willing to be there for him but it was a rough few months while he got his head back together. More distraction as I tried to help him deal with not only this but at the same time the older man he was renting a room from fell and ended up in a nursing home. He was really close to this man, they were good friends, and he knew the man wouldn’t recover as he already had advanced cancer. A lot for anyone to deal with.

We finally got it all smoothed out and by July were back to a normal couple. The older man died and he was going to lose his home. He had nowhere to go and at the beginning of August, he moved in with me. It was great to have help with the rent and someone around to help out. But we were not entirely compatible. He never wanted to be in the house, building fires in his pit every night. Even when it rained. I mean, really. And he constantly wanted company over, while I like to have some time to ourselves. He had no hobbies. So when it got cold and I would want to make jewelry or some other project in the evening, he was bored and wanted to go to the bar to be social. More distraction. And I would go with him, not wanting him to get in more trouble and hey, I could use some fun too.

But trouble was brewing as my intuition was telling me something wasn’t right. I became somewhat obsessed as the unease grew. I caught him in lies, little ones but many. He was addicted to scratch off lottery tickets and spent way more than he could afford on them. And his texting was a problem, when a certain number came up and he told me it was different people each time. I was not happy but, I am sorry to admit, when my back problem started and I wasn’t making as much money, I put up with his behavior because I need the help.

So just this month it came to a head when he admitted that the number was his ex, but all he did was text. He hadn’t seen her. I believe him because of the distance but….how could we ever have a chance when he was holding on to the past. Plus I had talked to him about the tickets before but the behavior didn’t change. I had lost trust in him. He knew it bothered me but didn’t care. We had an argument or two, I was ready to kick him out but gave him one more chance. But he beat me to the punch and left while I was gone. Didn’t even tell me. I already had figured out that his character was lacking but who just takes off and leaves a person who needs them? Not just the money, but I can’t lift or do as much as I used to.

I am not sad. I am less stressed. I knew it wasn’t meant to last forever. There was something we both needed from each other, we got it, and now we part. I am better off than he is, I still have a home and friends that care. And the Goddess is watching over me and She just gave me the best show I’ve ever had (even though I was dealing with this during it). I will be ok….and now I can do magick in my house again.

More Stones That Helped Me

After I sent the last newsletter, I realized there were more stones that helped me through that first year. I really do not want to dwell on the subject again, but I feel strongly that I need to tell you about these stones. Everyone experiences hard times and sorrow. We all need something to help us through. I am actually amazed when I realize how much I have grown to depend on stones to help me, even more than I reach for my oils. Of course, that could have to do with the fact that when you wear an oil blend that may help you, others around you might not enjoy the smell so much. Stones are more subtle.

If I am in an emotional state where I need a certain stone’s energy, I prefer to wear the stone. If I don’t have it as jewelry, I stick one in my pocket or bra. If at work I leave it in my purse. I have it near me at home or on the headboard of the bed. This is only when I need that energy that day. Otherwise the stone is somewhere in the house where its energy is more subtle and blends with all the other stone’s energies.

The first stone that popped into my head and said “hey, remember me? I helped you a lot” was rhodonite. At the big rock show in October 2011, where I always pick up more tumbled stones to sell, I was drawn to the bag of rhodonite. Unusual for me as I am so not a pink person. But I thought, hey the only pink stone I have is rose quartz so I bought it. But it was more than that. I picked one out for me. Then I read the properties. “Called the first aid stone that heals emotional shock, lending supportive energy to the soul during the process. Helps one to recover from traumatic events”. Wow. It also relates to the heart chakra. OMG. Did I ever need this stone! Too big to put in cage to wear, I carried it in a pocket or stuck it in my bra. It was on the headboard at night. I can honestly say the couple of months I had it on me did help me.

Rhodonite

Other properties of Rhodonite: An aid to the heart, promotes friendship and goodwill. Emotional balancer that nurtures love and encourages the brotherhood of humanity. Has the ability to show both sides of an issue. Stimulates, clears, and activates the heart and heart chakra. Grounds energy, balances yin yang, aids in achieving one’s highest potential. Enhances mantra based meditation, aligning the soul more closely to the vibration. Extremely beneficial in cases of emotional self destruction, codependency and abuse. Clears away emotional wounds and scars from the past, brings up painful emotions such as festering resentment or anger and transmutes it. Helps you to recognize that revenge is self destructive and promotes remaining calm in dangerous or upsetting situations. Builds up confidence and alleviates confusion.

A friend at the Holistic show gave me an ametrine. She said “you need this”. I’m like “ok but I already have ametrine”. She said I needed it. So the one she gave me was bigger than mine and fit in a cage so I wore it. And was an emotional mess when I did. Luckily I didn’t wear it at the show. What it did for me was release trapped emotions. This happened about 7 months after his death and I thought I was doing ok. I was keeping busy and thought I was getting back to normal. I ended up crying uncontrollably again. I needed the release that day but I haven’t wore it again. Very powerful stone.

Ametrine

More on ametrine: Ametrine is very helpful in getting rid of depression which leads to inner peace and tranquility. Particularly useful in long standing illness as it brings insight into cause of disease. Regenerates the physical body and strengthens the immune system, stabilizes DNA/RNA. Some believe that ametrine contains the powers of amethyst and citrine in one stone. Unites masculine and feminine energies. Opens the third eye promoting healing and divination. Enhances compatibility and acceptance of others. Extremely energetic, stimulates creativity and supports control of one’s own life. Promotes optimism and a well being that is not disturbed by stressful external influences.

This is the only time I wore a rose quartz. Its not that I don’t like rose quartz. I just am not a pastel person, and rose quartz is my sister’s stone, her absolute favorite yet I was never drawn to it. But I needed some soothing loving energy and this is the best stone for that, in my opinion. This was the next summer, so I didn’t use this stone for immediate help. Its gentle energy is comforting.

The properties of roses quartz are: A calming stone that dispels stored anger, jealousy, fear, grief and resentment. Eases emotional imbalance. Rose quartz emits a beautiful calming energy which works on the whole system to gently remove negativity and reinstate soft loving and gentle energies. It is particularly helpful to bring back peace and love after emotional traumas. It works to bring gentle love to all the chakra's but especially the heart and crown. It is quite simply the soft gentle nurturing love of the mother. Place by your bed or in relationship corner of house to attract love, it is so effective that it often needs amethyst to calm things down. Restores trust and harmony in an existing relationship.

One day at Earth Lore in Plymouth, I found two new stones to help me move on. One is dragon’s blood jasper. The paper I have says “Assist in giving up the old outdated ways of being and doing, opens to the ideas and ideals of the time which is now”. A good stone for when you are ready to move on to the next phase of life. Actually I need it now as I need to give up the old outdated ways (housecleaning) and move on to new ideas and phase of life (concentrating on Infinite Flame products and computer work). Might have to carry this around again.

The other stone is snake skin agate. The paper says “Links one to the joy of living. Helps eliminate worry and depression”. I came across this stone again last Sunday as I was looking for something to help me through the day. Since Michael and I broke up Friday I have been worried about finances and although the break up was mutual there is still some sadness. Well, what a difference. I put in my bra before I left and by the time I got to the show, I was smiling and felt lighter. I can honestly say I was linked to the joy of living and the worry was gone. Of course it helped that I had a record weekend! But that could be the aventurine and tiger eye I had on me too. (I do not have pictures of the last two stones. I will take one and add it when I put this newsletter in the archive.)

In case it sounds weird to you, I will share a secret. I bet half of all the women at the Holistic show have at least one stone in their bra. And I bet most, if not all, of the vendors do. Please don't check, just take my word for it ; )


~~~~Rhiannon Rose @--^--

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Moon Phases
& Sign

Dark Moon in Virgo:
August 25 - 10:13am

1st Quarter in Sagittarius:
September 2 - 7:11am

Full in Pisces:
September 8 - 9:38pm
Harvest Moon

Last Quarter in Gemini
Void of Course:
September 15 - 10:05pm

Sun enters Libra
Mabon / Fall Equinox
September 22 - 10:29pm

Dark Moon in Libra:
September 24 - 2:14am



Credit and
Butt-Kissing

Llewellyn's Witches Datebook for all moon phases

Tarot Made Easy by Nancy Garen

Song Quotes:


Some quotes for Michael:

"But I can't stop thinkin' 'bout
doin' it one more time
(Oh no)
But I already left you
And you're better off left behind

It's a bad obsession
It's always messin'
It's always messin' my mind
It's a bad obsession
It's always messin'
It's always messin' my mind

Too bad you're fucked up"

Bad Obsession
by G n R

 

"I tried so hard just to get through to you
But your head's so far
from the realness of truth
Was it just a come on in the dark
Wasn't meant to last long
I think you've worn your welcome honey
I'll just see you along as I sing you this song

Time can pass slowly, things always change
Your day's been numbered
and I've read your last page
You was just a temporary lover
honey you ain't the first
Lots of others came before you woman
said but you been the worst
Sa' you been the worst

Say goodbye to you girl
So long, farewell
I can't hear you cryin'
Your jivin's been hell
So look for me walkin'
Down your street at night
I'll be in with another
Deep down inside"

You Ain't the First
by G n R


"You left me,
Just when I needed you most"


 

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