Onward and Upward
So now here it is, three years have past. What did
I do during that time? Not much. I let people and things distract
me from moving ahead. But thats ok. I needed some time to just
enjoy and relax. To try to figure out who I am now, because I cant
be the person I was, Ive been through too much and have gained
more wisdom. Sometimes I think Im not as nice as I was, I dont
put up with nonsense anymore. I speak more honestly and some people
dont want honesty, they want flattery. I used to tell people
I was a good witch, but now Im a dont
mess with me witch. Im nice until you mess with me, then
I am going through a lot of changes. I had to claim
bankruptcy but that is a good thing as I no longer have that debt
hanging over me. I injured my back to the point that I went to a chiropractor
(those that know me know that I rarely go to a doctor, I heal myself
if I can). It makes my day job of housecleaning a challenge. I
got rid of two houses and only clean two days a week now. That is
a huge drop in income. It forced me to go back to web design, which
I love but wasnt putting much effort into lately. I have been
working on my Infinite Flame site and Naked Soaps sites, I am also
updating my sisters site. I had to officially close Enchanted
Moon so I cant do design under that name, but I am still available
to do web sites. If you or someone you know need a site, please contact
me. You can send them to Enchanted-moon.net
for more info about what I can do. Thank you.
I am also concentrating more on Infinite Flame products.
I was lucky enough to get an end space at the shows so that helps.
I have more space so I can create more products. I can now make more
candles and I will announce them here and on Facebook as I make them.
I am finally going to make incense (thank you Storm for the supplies,
eons ago!). I plan to create soaps with the same scents as some
of the candles, but that has to wait for cooler weather. I have some
other ideas that I will announce as I do them.
So these changes are good, I think. I am a procrastinator
but am working hard to change that, I cant wait. I need to use
my creative talents to support myself as I work through the back issues.
I know I will be ok. The Goddess always provides.
So exactly what distracted me? What else, a man.
When I did my yearly Samhain/Halloween tarot reading in 2011, just
two months after Brian died, the cards told me I would meet someone.
I have been doing my Halloween year-ahead readings for over twenty
years. I use a book that is very accurate, better to use a book when
doing a reading for yourself so you dont only see what you want
to see. My romance card said An admirer or sweetheart will
suddenly appear, and a very passionate love affair or romance is in
store. And another card said An unexpected caller
will arrive and through you dont think its possible, the two
of you are going to be spending some very passionate hours together.
I thought, yeah right. There is no way I am going to want to be with
anyone for a long time. But the cards never lie.
Jump ahead to the next spring. The neighbor introduces
me to the guy who is painting his house. His blue eyes seem to draw
me but I resisted. I must admit, the first couple of times I was around
him, I acted like a
.well, it rhymes with witch. But something
attracted me. I didnt want to be attracted, its too soon. But
it was meant to be, I asked the Goddess for guidance and got two clear
signs that I was supposed to be with him. The third sign was when
I remembered my tarot reading. So in August I gave in and had a new
man in my life.
He brought music and fun back into my life. Too much
fun. I had been planning on getting back to computer work but every
night we were hanging out and I was learning to just relax again.
He truly was a distraction, because I used him as an escape. When
I was with him, I could forget all my troubles. And I let things slide.
Then he hit a gas meter at the bar, when he went up
there without me during one of my holiday rituals. So he got caught
drinking and driving. Instead of letting me help him through it, he
tried to push me away. But then drew me back. I was willing to be
there for him but it was a rough few months while he got his head
back together. More distraction as I tried to help him deal with not
only this but at the same time the older man he was renting a room
from fell and ended up in a nursing home. He was really close to this
man, they were good friends, and he knew the man wouldnt recover
as he already had advanced cancer. A lot for anyone to deal with.
We finally got it all smoothed out and by July were
back to a normal couple. The older man died and he was going to lose
his home. He had nowhere to go and at the beginning of August, he
moved in with me. It was great to have help with the rent and someone
around to help out. But we were not entirely compatible. He never
wanted to be in the house, building fires in his pit every night.
Even when it rained. I mean, really. And he constantly wanted
company over, while I like to have some time to ourselves. He had
no hobbies. So when it got cold and I would want to make jewelry or
some other project in the evening, he was bored and wanted to go to
the bar to be social. More distraction. And I would go with him, not
wanting him to get in more trouble and hey, I could use some fun too.
But trouble was brewing as my intuition was telling
me something wasnt right. I became somewhat obsessed as the
unease grew. I caught him in lies, little ones but many. He was addicted
to scratch off lottery tickets and spent way more than he could afford
on them. And his texting was a problem, when a certain number came
up and he told me it was different people each time. I was not happy
but, I am sorry to admit, when my back problem started and I wasnt
making as much money, I put up with his behavior because I need the
So just this month it came to a head when he admitted
that the number was his ex, but all he did was text. He hadnt
seen her. I believe him because of the distance but
we ever have a chance when he was holding on to the past. Plus I had
talked to him about the tickets before but the behavior didnt
change. I had lost trust in him. He knew it bothered me but didnt
care. We had an argument or two, I was ready to kick him out but gave
him one more chance. But he beat me to the punch and left while I
was gone. Didnt even tell me. I already had figured out that
his character was lacking but who just takes off and leaves a person
who needs them? Not just the money, but I cant lift or do as
much as I used to.
I am not sad. I am less stressed. I knew it wasnt
meant to last forever. There was something we both needed from each
other, we got it, and now we part. I am better off than he is, I still
have a home and friends that care. And the Goddess is watching over
me and She just gave me the best show Ive ever had (even though
I was dealing with this during it). I will be ok
.and now I can
do magick in my house again.
More Stones That Helped Me
After I sent the last newsletter, I realized there
were more stones that helped me through that first year. I really
do not want to dwell on the subject again, but I feel strongly that
I need to tell you about these stones. Everyone experiences hard times
and sorrow. We all need something to help us through. I am actually
amazed when I realize how much I have grown to depend on stones to
help me, even more than I reach for my oils. Of course, that could
have to do with the fact that when you wear an oil blend that may
help you, others around you might not enjoy the smell so much. Stones
are more subtle.
If I am in an emotional state where I need a certain
stones energy, I prefer to wear the stone. If I dont
have it as jewelry, I stick one in my pocket or bra. If at
work I leave it in my purse. I have it near me at home or on
the headboard of the bed. This is only when I need that energy that
day. Otherwise the stone is somewhere in the house where its energy
is more subtle and blends with all the other stones energies.
The first stone that popped into my head and said
hey, remember me? I helped you a lot was rhodonite.
At the big rock show in October 2011, where I always pick up more
tumbled stones to sell, I was drawn to the bag of rhodonite. Unusual
for me as I am so not a pink person. But I thought, hey the only pink
stone I have is rose quartz so I bought it. But it was more than that.
I picked one out for me. Then I read the properties. Called
the first aid stone that heals emotional shock, lending supportive
energy to the soul during the process. Helps one to recover from traumatic
events. Wow. It also relates to the heart chakra. OMG. Did
I ever need this stone! Too big to put in cage to wear, I carried
it in a pocket or stuck it in my bra. It was on the headboard at night.
I can honestly say the couple of months I had it on me did help me.
Other properties of Rhodonite:
An aid to the heart, promotes friendship and goodwill. Emotional balancer
that nurtures love and encourages the brotherhood of humanity. Has
the ability to show both sides of an issue. Stimulates, clears, and
activates the heart and heart chakra. Grounds energy, balances yin
yang, aids in achieving ones highest potential. Enhances mantra
based meditation, aligning the soul more closely to the vibration.
Extremely beneficial in cases of emotional self destruction, codependency
and abuse. Clears away emotional wounds and scars from the past, brings
up painful emotions such as festering resentment or anger and transmutes
it. Helps you to recognize that revenge is self destructive and promotes
remaining calm in dangerous or upsetting situations. Builds up confidence
and alleviates confusion.
A friend at the Holistic show gave me an ametrine.
She said you need this. Im like ok but I already
have ametrine. She said I needed it. So the one she gave me
was bigger than mine and fit in a cage so I wore it. And was an emotional
mess when I did. Luckily I didnt wear it at the show. What it
did for me was release trapped emotions. This happened about 7 months
after his death and I thought I was doing ok. I was keeping busy and
thought I was getting back to normal. I ended up crying uncontrollably
again. I needed the release that day but I havent wore it again.
Very powerful stone.
More on ametrine: Ametrine is very helpful
in getting rid of depression which leads to inner peace and tranquility.
Particularly useful in long standing illness as it brings insight
into cause of disease. Regenerates the physical body and strengthens
the immune system, stabilizes DNA/RNA. Some believe that ametrine
contains the powers of amethyst and citrine in one stone. Unites masculine
and feminine energies. Opens the third eye promoting healing and divination.
Enhances compatibility and acceptance of others. Extremely energetic,
stimulates creativity and supports control of ones own life.
Promotes optimism and a well being that is not disturbed by stressful
This is the only time I wore a rose quartz.
Its not that I dont like rose quartz. I just am not a pastel
person, and rose quartz is my sisters stone, her absolute favorite
yet I was never drawn to it. But I needed some soothing loving energy
and this is the best stone for that, in my opinion. This was the next
summer, so I didnt use this stone for immediate help. Its gentle
energy is comforting.
The properties of roses quartz are:
A calming stone that dispels stored anger, jealousy, fear, grief and
resentment. Eases emotional imbalance. Rose quartz emits a beautiful
calming energy which works on the whole system to gently remove negativity
and reinstate soft loving and gentle energies. It is particularly
helpful to bring back peace and love after emotional traumas. It works
to bring gentle love to all the chakra's but especially the heart
and crown. It is quite simply the soft gentle nurturing love of the
mother. Place by your bed or in relationship corner of house to attract
love, it is so effective that it often needs amethyst to calm things
down. Restores trust and harmony in an existing relationship.
One day at Earth Lore in Plymouth, I found two new
stones to help me move on. One is dragons blood jasper.
The paper I have says Assist in giving up the old outdated
ways of being and doing, opens to the ideas and ideals of the time
which is now. A good stone for when you are ready to move
on to the next phase of life. Actually I need it now as I need to
give up the old outdated ways (housecleaning) and move on to new ideas
and phase of life (concentrating on Infinite Flame products and computer
work). Might have to carry this around again.
The other stone is snake skin agate.
The paper says Links one to the joy of living. Helps eliminate
worry and depression. I came across this stone again last
Sunday as I was looking for something to help me through the day.
Since Michael and I broke up Friday I have been worried about finances
and although the break up was mutual there is still some sadness.
Well, what a difference. I put in my bra before I left and by the
time I got to the show, I was smiling and felt lighter. I can honestly
say I was linked to the joy of living and the worry was gone. Of course
it helped that I had a record weekend! But that could be the aventurine
and tiger eye I had on me too. (I do not have pictures of the last
two stones. I will take one and add it when I put this newsletter
in the archive.)
In case it sounds weird to you, I will share a secret.
I bet half of all the women at the Holistic show have at least one
stone in their bra. And I bet most, if not all, of the vendors do.
Please don't check, just take my word for it ; )
~~~~Rhiannon Rose @--^--